The Lake /2
That kind of willingness to give in is rampant in this society of ours. From banks to ponzu sauce... well, those are just examples. The point is that people have found a gazillion little opportunities to profit in questionable ways, all over the place. I've seen tons of cases, all across the board, where in order ro grab on to those tiny profits people studiously adopt another perspective, keeping their true opinions to themselves, and no one takes responsibility, everyone just huddles together on some middle ground, and it all gets less and less clear, yet in the end everyone ends up being crammed into a rigid, unyielding framework. I've seen the same story play out over and over again.
But I couldn't take it. The whole dumb setup just bored me to death.
Here I am playing nicely with the world, trying my best to leave things the tiniest bit better than they were, trying to fly even a little higher - how annoying it would be to have to go along with this crap. That was my take on it.
//
Nakajima paused a moment, then continued. "See, people like us are never at the centre of things. We're always on the margins, and I generally figure it's best not to stand out too much. Most of the time we see things exactly the opposite light as the majority does, and people don't look kindly on you if you stand out. When push comes to shove, though, you've got to have something you won't cave in on. Otherwise you end up like a recluse or something, cut off from the world.
//
At this very moment, I was truly beginning to fall in love. It weighed on me that it was sometimes a pain in the ass, but the payoff could be big, too. So big it felt like gazing up into the sky. Or like looking out an airplane window at the ocean, with clouds shining above it. It was so gorgeous it almost felt like sadness. Like the feelings you get when you realize that, in the grand scheme of things, your time here on this earth really isn't that long after all.
//
And so, like a man and a woman secretly in love, we remain silent about the half-wish we each feel, that somehow we could live together. I guess this is one way to love, I think. Love isn't only a matter of fussing over each other, hugging, wanting to be together. Some things communicate, inevitably, precisely because you keep them in check. The heartfelt feelings that find their way to you in the form of money and imported gourmet ham. Having the sensitivity to gauge those things is a real gift.
- The Lake, Banana Yoshimoto
Sunday, July 7, 2013 @ 8:51 PM / 0 daisies