Run
"What's holding you back?"
"I don't really know. Maybe it's the people who depend on me at work, but it's also them knowing that I'll do their jobs instead. Nobody does anything about it, and I have grown tired. It's the familiarity that I come for, but everyday I go home with a heavy heart."
"Then what do you want to do?"
"I feel like running away."
I've been in a state of ambiviculty (and still am) ever since two months ago. I was being selfish for my own happiness, only because I couldn't stand another minute in there. I didn't care about how anybody is going to pass negative thoughts about me choosing to leave immediately I just wanted run away. At that point of time I didn't care if i had to lie to get out of there. Not that anybody really wants to know how I feel and my thoughts, they'll just ask they're after you.
Lately I've also been feeling under-accomplished. Terribly tired and uninspired. It's not exactly what I've planned during my school semesters for my holidays. I tell myself to be motivated the next day I wake up but it never gets anything close. Sometimes I get mad because I rarely have time for myself and I sometimes run to get to work, or to get my errands done. And this causing me to feel extreme fatigue.
If I had a choice.... I wouldn't have to care about my responsibilities that's been weighing me down and start taking care of my needs. Like when I'm in need of time to get proper sleep, or a week to dedicate myself with my family, or one day to bring my sister out for some desserts. Time to read and slowly digest my food, or like riding a bicycle I've been waiting for months just to do that but I always put it off because I'm tired blablabla.
I'm so sick of these reasons. It's been a week since I started a new job in another store, And I still feel like running away.
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 1:59 AM / 0 daisies