Such an amazing person.

Soft-spoken, but humorous. Funny, and charming at the same time. Genuine and sincere. Always giving and positive. Quiet when there isn't a need to say anything and points out things that he has an opinion on, in a good way. Kind-hearted, and sweet. He doesn't shout or scream, he doesn't curse when he speaks. He's a gentleman, the type who sincerely doesn't expect any returns for the things he've done from the heart.

He tells me he feels ordinary, nothing more than what everybody else looks for. He tells me he's not special, and that he thinks he doesn't deserve anything better. He tells me alot of things. He tells me his favorite color, and what type of songs he listens to, and coincidently we love the same music.

He tells me what he likes to wear and when he plans to buy something, He'll ask me how he even looks on it. He often asks how my day went, and tells me to be positive if my day goes all wrong. He often talks about his past, and how miserable he had to go through it.

I just sat and listened.

When he says he is nothing more than ordinary, I wanted to tell him he was special. I hated the people in his past because I thought "Why would anyone hurt someone like him?". I thought he deserves nothing but the best. I prayed for someone to rescue him, but at the same time I felt a tinge of jealousy on the inside.

I thought, "It's not possible," And i tried to push this away but it stayed. God knows how long it stayed.  It never goes away.

And maybe that's just me, when I invest on something, anything actually, I'll give it my all. In my artworks too, I wouldn't have realised it until my lecturer grading my work told me this one day,

"I sense the maturity on your work. But there's a danger. You've jumped into the capacity, you give a lot. But you'll end up stuck, on your own and full of questions."

I couldn't understand nuts.

He then said, "Let me rephrase, If I have a girlfriend, I give my time commitment, everything. Because I love her. But isn't there a danger? What if she leaves?"

I stood up, smiled and walked away. To be honest, His comment about my work creeped me out. A lot.

But anyway, we drifted apart. We havent spoke to each other for years quite some time now, but I hope he knows that he is always in my prayers. Although i very much wanted to be a part of his life, still, to know what he's doing and what his thoughts were, but I reckon things happen for a reason.

He wish he knows someone thinks he's more than ordinary, and that he's beautiful on the inside too. I wonder how I'd react if we ever cross paths again. I think I'll probably ignore him and walk away but wished I said Hi and give him a hug, tell him I really miss him.

And being me, I don't have the guts to say all of these all at once. It usually backfires, and makes everything all erm, awkward. 

 Such an amazing person, he is.
I hope he's sincerely happy, wherever he is. Because that's all that matters.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 @ 9:36 PM / 0 daisies


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