What is this?
"People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head — the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you."
William H Woodwell Jr.
Of the constant dramas, of the never ending assignments, of people that you don't feel comfortable with, of time consuming activities, of tiredness, of putting everybody else before myself, of prioritizing the wrong things, of always rushing, of people using you.
Is it normal to even feel this way?
And I'm not going to lie, I needed help. And I still do.
At times I feel as if I've dug my own grave. But at the same time I've been digging my way out, trying to find solutions so as to breathe again.
I can't stop questioning myself on why I don't feel happy at the end of the day.
I think it's me. I'm thinking of where to start to change all of these, and to feel, okay for a day.
I also think it's terrible for me to share this with anyone because they have their own good days and troubles to go through and they wouldn't want to hear my whining everyday, do they?
This is terrible. I need to change. I need to adapt to life as it is now.
Friday, October 5, 2012 @ 7:47 AM / 0 daisies